2 Comments

  1. Kefka

    You argue against polygamy seemingly based on the fact that some people in such an arrangement are mistreated or it is abusive in some way. If people want to marry more than one person(be it a male with multiple wives, female with multiple males or either sex with multiple partners of different sexes) why should that not be allowed? As a person that is polyamourous and knows other people that practice polyamory, I can tell you that these relationships are consensual and not coercive.

    I guess a superficial look at polyamory would make it seem like a hippie free love kind of thing and there are certain aspects of it that would conform to that and most of the polyamorous people I knew could vaguely be describe as hippie like. Now of course multiple partner marriage is not a common aspect(sometimes there are open marriages where both partners can date other people) but it does come up. Comparing these kinds of relationships to the institutionalized indoctrination of fundamental morons would be absurd, I agree that the later is not good but the former should in no way be a matter for the government to interfere with.

    • fortheloveofwisdom

      | You argue against polygamy seemingly based on the fact that
      | some people in such an arrangement are mistreated or it is
      | abusive in some way.

      No, that is a strawman of what I have said. One of the main things I focused on here was the inequality inherent in polygamy. Polygamy gives more power to the husband than to the wives. Marriage should be a loving relationship of mutual devotion and respect between equals. Where this exists in a polygamous marriage, the other wives are being neglected. To use the best known Biblical example of polygamy, Jacob loved Rachel with all his heart, and because of this, he couldn’t love Leah nearly as much. Leah got someone to provide for her and give her babies, but she didn’t have a satisfactory marriage. Polygamy is inherently unequal. The husband is free to marry other women, but the wives are supposed to remain devoted to the husband. It is normal for the wives to live in jealousy of each other and of potential new wives. In polygamy, the husband/wife relationship is more like an employer/employee or parent/child relationship than it is like one between lovers. For a firsthand account of how horrible and unequal polygamy can be for wives, I refer you to Carolyn Jessup’s memoir Escape.

      Besides the internal problems with polygamy, there is the effect it has on society. When some men have multiple wives, that leaves fewer women available to marry the remaining men, and more men have to remain unmarried. Carolyn Jessup relates that in her FLDS community, boys were often ejected from the community, so that it wouldn’t have to deal with those unable to marry. In a larger community, which does not eject its males, forcibly unmarried men are more likely to rape women, to get into fights, and to willingly go to war or engage in terrorism. This is described in the book Sex and War, which points out that enforcing monogamy is one of the steps society needs to take to reduce war.

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